It's time to announce the finalists in the coveted—but entirely unofficial—Brightest Bowler Award for 2026.
For outsiders reading this, we should make clear that there is no known connection between brightness of outfit and cognitive brightness.
Background
Last year's award was won by Bobby Rutten and immediately lifted him from relative obscurity to megastar status.
His newfound celebrity profile more than compensated for the unfortunate absence of an actual prize.
Adding to the prestige of the award, the selection criteria are made up as we go along and the identities of the judges remain a closely guarded secret.
There is, however, a major development this year: there will be prizes.
What they are has yet to be determined.
Brightest women
The women's long list contains a formidable field:
Janine Skurray, Jenny Johns, Joanne Kirby, Cheryl Saunders, Bronwyn Perry, Diana Frankcom, Cathy Stevens, Wendy Rutten, Victoria Kavanagh, Karen Esdale, Joylene Koch and Sharon Irwin.
See Video of Brightest Women Here
After lengthy deliberations—and some retrospective adjustment of the judging criteria—we are delighted to announce that the three shortlisted finalists are Janine Skurray, Jenny Johns and Joanne Kirby.
The judges were particularly impressed that all three demonstrated their commitment to brightness on multiple occasions.
Brightest men
The men's long list contains 12 outstanding contenders:
Stew Allen, Steve van der Veen, Paul Teesdale, Stephen Jones, Bobby Rutten, Shane Ettridge, Robb Nuus, Peter Quick, Alan King, Stew Adams, Gareth Lloyd and Deane Pye.
See Video of Brightest Men Here
After deciding at the last moment that consistency of brightness should carry considerable weight, the judges are thrilled to announce that the three shortlisted finalists are Stew Allen, Steve van der Veen and Paul Teesdale.
Announcement pending
First, second and third place in both categories will be announced soon, along with details of the mysterious prizes.
For the six shortlisted finalists, the nervous wait begins.
Some sleepless nights lie ahead.