This week, Wally the Worried Bowler writes to our resident “agony aunt”, the uniquely unqualified Dr Tufflove, seeking help with the favourite mantra of club coach Izzy Trenorden: bowl “on or beyond” the jack.
Dear Dr Tufflove,
Every time I stand on the mat and hear Izzy’s mantra echoing in my head, I become terrified of bowling short.
As a result, I often overcorrect and send my bowl straight into the ditch — technically “beyond”, but probably not in the way Izzy intended.
What can I do?
Wally the Worried Bowler
Dr Tufflove responds:
Wally, I am disappointed that you are somehow trying to blame Izzy for your wayward bowling.
Your bowl is leaving your hand, lad — not Izzy’s.
However, your condition appears treatable.
To rewire your bowling brain, I have two recommendations.
First, stop thinking about Izzy’s mantra while standing on the mat. It has clearly spooked you.
Instead, focus on your lifelong dream of bowling a perfect toucher — like the ones you regularly claim to have delivered at Night Owls.
Second, imagine there is a powerful magnetic attraction between your bowl and the jack.
See yourself merely as the humble transport mechanism allowing this mysterious force to express itself.
And finally, if all else fails, try aiming slightly short of the ditch.